Long Sleeved Crop: Illustrated People
Omelette Necklace: Front Row Shop
Black Crop: Illustrated People
Leopard Print Coat: Zaful
Qozmo Platforms: Y.R.U
Even Better IRL
If you’ve ever shopped online you know how it goes…every package that arrives (starting the day you placed your order, even though you know it’s impossible) you check for your name. If it’s not your name you hate whoever’s name it is and briefly play out opening their package in slow motion in your mind. You pass up the gratifying opportunity because IT’S A FEDERAL CRIME and continue to patiently wait for the day that it’s your name you see…Fast forward to that day. It’s YOUR NAME. It feels as if Santa himself wrote it and sent this gift just for you. You begin scratching at the seams as you bring it inside…you use all your strength to rip open the industrial tape, refusing scissors and adding in your own sound effects to give you that extra oomph you need. Alas, it wasn’t enough. You shamefully ask for the scissors you just refused. You slice open the package with ease (remembering to point the scissors AWAY from you.) and take a deep breath as SHA-BAM. One of two things happen:
1. “WHAT IS THIS DISH RAG LABELED “MAJESTIC CAPE” DOING IN MY HOUSE?!” You’ve been duped. It’s heartbreaking, I know. That beautiful piece you spent so long dreaming about looks nothing like what is sitting in front of you. You feel betrayed… you even cleaned out your closet to make room for the new addition to the family! Now this? Yah, you can return it. But this cuts deeper than that… You don’t know if you’ll ever be able to trust again.
2. “YES. My calculations were correct, praise the Lord! Majestic cape, welcome to the fam.” Your items prof pic looked just as good online as it does now IRL. Holla! Operation Treat-Yo-Self has been completed. You feel a kinship with the kind soul you ordered this from-your hope in humanity has been restored. End Scene.
BUT WAIT-THERE’S ONE MORE.
3. “WOW. EVEN BETTER IRL. mind. blown.” This is a moment to savor because it doesn’t come along too often. The item you’ve been dreaming about is EVEN BETTER IN REAL LIFE. Ladies and gentlemen, this is what happened when I opened my package from Illustrated People. How they made fabric this soft? I don’t know. I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to take the black crop-top off. It’s softer than rabbit fur, softer than a babies bottom (I’ve only heard through the grape vine that they’re soft)…Check back Wednesday to see the rest of the beautiful pieces I got on that glorious day.
Thank the Package Heavens, my leopard print coat from Zaful came on the same day. I had just thrifted this leopard print belt and was a little too excited to combine all three of my leopard prints. This coat has been on Life-Wish-List for a while now…Thank you Zaful. I feel like a true Modern-Day-Safari-Cruella-Deville. # Blessed